A Simple Question: Where Should I Begin?

Tattoo in clear water
Tattoo in clear water—Bali, Indonesia, 2015

Literally, like the title of this post, that simple question has been simmering on my mind for about a year and a half now. It can be interpreted as a good rhetorical question to create the dramatic effect I’m hoping this post will achieve: maybe start with a hint of food for thought and end with a bit of inspiration. However, far from being merely a rhetorical question it has been one that has shaped the course of my life. It has crippled dreams, passions, and that sense of free spirit that I was both lucky and, sometimes, cursed to be born with.

I have never been the extrovert-go-getter type, I’m an introvert that more often than not is too shy to put herself out there. Ironically, I’m also a traveler, an aspiring writer and philanthropist, and a dreamer, I have, what seems like a restless soul with a million and one desires and goals that I want to cross off my bucket list—figuratively speaking. And that seemingly simple question up there has somehow been my kryptonite. It has laid me on a comfort zone of great excuses to procrastinate my time away.

The Question With Many Possibilities

Where should I begin?—The possibilities, generally, flood my mind with fears and negative thoughts of how my aspirations are too unrealistic and, just, will never happen. By the time my emotions settle down and my mind comes back to earth, I’m exhausted and with little energy. The next steps are to procrastinate, drown myself in thought some more, and then move on to another dream, hope, or yearning (whatever you want to call it). It’s a mental, unproductive cycle that has not stopped me from accomplishments but it has numbed and slowed me down. Much thought, no action.

Speaking from experience, I’ll attempt to answer this question with an open heart. If you ever find yourself staring at this question much like a deer in headlights. My I’ve-been-there-too-many-times advice is: start anywhere and anyhow you can, but start right this second. It doesn’t matter if it’s the wrong place to start in, if it’s less than perfect, feels out of place, or if you start from the middle or towards the end. It doesn’t matter if you’re confused from over thinking, if you’re not sure what the hell you’re doing, where you’re going, or where you will end up. Nothing else matters, the only important thing is taking action, ANY action, and taking it now. Begin now, right this second.

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2 comments

  1. I can definitely relate to this! My mind goes a hundred miles an hour and just drains me, I know I need to make a change I need to start working towards something to get out of this state of mind and I just end up overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions to exhausted to take a step! Thank you for this!!!

  2. I think most of us can relate to this, change is always scary. Most want to live but fear of the unknown merely lets us exist. We tend to be more afraid of what its than get tired of the torture we live in. You are deff right, now is the time to start!! Awesome piece:)

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